It’s interesting how certain habits and traits start to sneak up on you. The older I’ve gotten, the more I have gone from sleeping in every Saturday Morning from partying every Friday Night, to waking up Saturdays with a purpose. Not like I still get ANYTHING done on Saturdays, but it’s a start. It’s progress.
I’ve started to feel different getting up. I feel like my thoughts are clearer and I want to do something productive. Recently, I’ve been waking up and trying to read something or really spend my time reflecting on my place in the world. I am overall feeling more at ease with myself than ever before. This has surprised me.
I’ve had my downs. I’ve lost numerous loved ones and had my spirit broken. I’ve failed at the things I thought I was good at, and overall just struggled to find peace. In the midst of my life falling apart. I had to pause and take things back to the basics. How am I feeling? What am I going through? What can I change? What can I not change? What have I done to contribute to the situation I am in? The answers to these questions have really seemed to help me slow down and sort out what is happening around me. I then take a breath and start from the most immediate.
I was asked recently, what makes me different from most. My first reply is God. My second reply is God has given me a unique ability to reflect and never give up. I almost look at life with infinite chances to be better. I see infinite days ahead of me to improve and learn from my mistakes. I accept my faults. I accept my failures. I even accept that I can always be better but, my strength is to never let my faults won’t paralyze me for too long. There is always something to help me be better.
Sometimes you have to hit bottom before you realize you have the strength to reach the top. When I was younger, I believed I was invincible. I was Superman. I couldn’t be broken or destroyed. Yet, life taught me that she will get pretty close to doing both if you let her. Now, I have learned to choose my battles. I have started to remove poisonous things from my life and not hold on to the pain that might linger from bad decisions (mine or anybody else).
I’ve had people who I placed close to my heart show me how cold the world can be. I’ve had people who I expected nothing from show me genuine care. The biggest lesson is letting those that want to be there and grow you, be there. Those that just want to take and never give, walk away. It will always hurt. It will always cut deep, but cuts always heal. It’s the wisdom that comes from knowing when to dodge that knife that really makes maturity worth it.
Any stories about the maturation process you never expected? Any lessons, “that if you knew then” that would have made your life better? Leave comment, questions, ideas, and reflections below.