As I’ve been making my way through the Bible, I came across an interesting passage in Corinthians. Especially since so I’ve been growing in understanding patriarchy and how these are things affect our thoughts/interactions, I’ve been wondering what the Bible says about it.
Truthfully, I never felt comfortable with the thought of men being better than women. It never made sense to me. I was raised by women, so I never processed me as being better than them. In fact, I often revere women much more highly than I do most men. Women always had my respect first and foremost for their places in my life.
So, as I began (and still am) developing my identity, I started to look at what the women in my life were lacking, to become a counterpart to what I believed were strong women. In the process, I’ve shifting away for traditional gender norms and larger awareness towards the fluidity of gendered expression. I became more comfortable with accepting people’s freedom to change, grow, and do what makes them happy.
As time pushed forward, I still struggle with the erasure of the “typical male role” of provider and protector. I know that women can provide and protect for themselves, but I still want to take the brunt of that responsibility. My future wife will be free to live as she chooses to make herself happy but I always hoped that she will desire/be comfortable in some traditional roles too. I want a loving wife that enjoys being a nurturer. I want a wife that is comfortable being weak around me and allowing me to help and support her. At the same time, I want a wife that can flip the switch, dominate a room, and still be a force to be reckoned with. I also desire to care, coddle, and adore her like she is my first and last real crush.
Even more than all of the above, by me protecting her, I want her to know her value is worth more than mine. I would easily lay down my life for the woman I am designed to be there for. I am willing to take responsibility for this special woman and all of the weight that comes with it, if she is willing to do the same for me. We are made for each other, but her life always precedes mine.
But, that’s why I never understood domestic violence, rape, or even the less violent forms of control exercised in patriarchy. Men aren’t better than women, we are just different and that’s fine. I understand that history has portrayed femininity as weakness but I never saw it that way. Femininity always had a quiet strength, resilience, and courage that inspired me beyond masculine hard headedness could even do. I saw the man’s role as to protect the future while the woman’s role is to fortify/insure the present.
I recently came across 1 Corinthians as another reason why I feel that people only pick and choose the verses in the Bible to support only their argument. The Bible has been used for so much evil that it honestly makes me cry. People keep talking about wives submitting to their husbands but never mention Corinthians.
1 Corinthians 11:10-12 (MSG)
10-12 Don’t, by the way, read too much into the differences here between men and women. Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority. Man was created first, as a beautiful shining reflection of God—that is true. But the head on a woman’s body clearly outshines in beauty the head of her “head,” her husband. The first woman came from man, true—but ever since then, every man comes from a woman! And since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let’s quit going through these “who’s first” routines.
We all came from a woman. I might be a reflection of God, but she is perfected beyond what I could ever hope to be. I pray that my wife is my superior is love, grace, wisdom, courage, and heart. I pray that she will always inspire me to not just love her but cherish her beyond whatever my heart could dream. The only thing I can do in return is lay my life down for her. When that day comes, she got it!
Turn Your Brightness Up Mrs. Magnificent!